So I will be seeing Avengers: Endgame in less than 24 hours and I AM VERY AFRAID!

I think this is the first time I have felt like this about a film or TV show. I've been invested in Marvel for a while but none of the other movies have constituted a finale like what I am assuming this will be.

And other media sources I have been super invested in either were abruptly canceled (Farscape) or my interest gradually fizzled out before I had to contend with a finale (Supernatural) or I only started watching when the show had all ready ended so I knew what I was getting in to.

But really, when I say I am still invested in Marvel, it's really more I am very much invested in Steve Rogers.

And I am very afraid he is going die.

And I am very afraid he is going to die in a way that is very unsatisfying. And that is what I am going to be sad (and angry) about rather than his actual death.

And I swear I am going to flip my shit if his last dying scene is with Tony Stark and he never sees Bucky or Sam ever again (you know, the guys he loves and actually built a relationship with and who the last he saw of wasn't trying to murder his best friend as revenge despite the fact that shit wasn't his fault on account of the decades of torture and brainwashing and mindwiping).

If the Marvel wanted me to care about Steve's relationship with Tony Stark then they need to actually put the effort in to make me care instead having them be antagonistic towards each other in every movie they are in together.

Can you tell I am still bitter?

I didn't use to be because there was always the prospect of another movie and more content to make up for it but now that prospect is gone. And when I think back to how little of Steve we got in Civil War and yeah, it was focused on him but Steve didn't even get the most dialogue, he got half the screentime compared to the first two Cap movies, he didn't get a flashback of his parents (which I sincerely doubt we ever will now), and he didn't even get the opening and closing emotional moments. All that went to Tony. And then I think back to how Steve got like 6 minutes of Infinity War. And then I am assuming Endgame is also going to Tony's final film so I assume they'll be featuring him heavily as well. And then I get even more bitter and sad.

I am guessing Endgame is going to focus on Steve and Tony's relationship because it's the last chance they have and Steve and Tony are the two "big" characters but like, I just don't care about that relationship! The movies never put any effort into making me care! And yes, I realise all this is subjective and opinion based but I think objectively you can say that the movies showed that Steve cares more about Bucky & Sam than he ever has about Tony.

And you know, maybe I am wrong, maybe Steve doesn't die, but I am putting my thoughts down just so they aren't simmering around in my head. And like, if characters have to die (which they don't have to, Marvel! You can remove characters from a franchise without killing them), I just want them to have good scenes with the people that they love. And for Steve, that is 100% Bucky and Sam but with them stuck in the Soul Stone I have little hope. (I include Natasha in that list but I'm less worried about them not getting scenes together.

But hey, the movie is like 3 hours long. A lot can happen.

I think my main hope for Endgame is that it doesn't kill my motivation to make Marvel vids. I've never even made a Steve vid because I like him so much it was too overwhelming to make vid that just focuses on him. I do have one Steve vid that's been in progress for years and like, the vid itself is sad enough as is, if I have to include Steve's death in it, its going to be heartbreaking.

(Now it's time to turn off the internet and rewatch Infinity War in preparation.)